Intergenerational trauma vietnamese how to#
Intergenerational trauma vietnamese professional#

Oftentimes, this “rags to riches” mentality can contribute to a complicated relationship with finances. Immigrant families chasing the American dream are focused on financial stability and living a life that was better than the ones they left their homelands for. Only now does she separate from what she is expected to be into who she wants to be.

Intergenerational trauma vietnamese professional#

“They have been perpetually accepting, in their personal and professional lives, this lead to me also being perpetually accepting in my personal and professional life, never advocating for myself.” “My maternal grandparents and my mom, by nature, have conditioned themselves to accept: Accept when someone has hurt them, accept when things do not go their way,' she says. Being the first same sex couple in our family, we definitely feel a little bit of pressure to uphold certain standards,” Amit adds. It’s an in-built trauma that refuses to leave. “Even now, we seldom hold hands in public or show affection like heterosexual couples would do.

The pair are now happily married, yet the way they express affection towards one another is still dictated by the intergenerational trauma to uphold certain standards when it comes to love and affection. We struggled with our sexuality and struggled mentally with accepting the fact that we are not heterosexual men,” Amit tells Teen Vogue. “Being gay was not a part of the advised life choice and neither was it even understood. Due to the fear of society, and the shame that they believed they would bring to their families, they concealed their sexual identity. This was one of the key reasons why married couple Amit, 35, and Aditya, 34, came out as gay late in their lives.

There’s a common phrase among the South Asian community called “ log kya kahenge” (what will people think?), which has become the punchline of comedian Hasan Minhaj’s jokes The idea is that South Asians should prioritize the feelings of society and families over their own in other words, don’t do certain things because society will not accept it.

Intergenerational trauma vietnamese how to#

Thankfully, open conversation with her partner helped work past these triggers and help her understand how to better filter what she says and how she says it to the next generation. I changed my behavior towards my partner to not be ‘too much,’ which he ended up realizing and became something we talked through.”īeing told she is too much, and at the same not enough, impacted Sailusha’s self-esteem. “Hearing these comments clearly triggered past moments and fed into my insecurities of thinking that my personality would always be too much for someone long-term. Blame it on Bollywood, or archaic societal constructs, any deviation from these characteristics is often frowned upon. South Asian women are often perceived to be docile and submissive beings whose life purpose is geared towards child-rearing and domestic duties. She learned from her mother’s mistakes to be proactive about her future. Therapy is the avenue that helped her to heal, and is what she believes will allow future generations to explore the trauma that they are handed. It wasn’t until Amber attempted suicide that she realized there was no shame in asking for help. One reason people in the community don’t seek mental health help, according to the study, is the cultural idea that getting help outside the family can be seen as a failure. I think it’s important for older generations to realize that therapy is not a way of replacing religion, but an added booster when dealing with life’s challenges,” she tells Teen Vogue.Ī 2020 study found that South Asians experience high rates of mental health issues, but often don’t seek treatment. My dad is a pretty traditional Muslim and encouraged me to turn to God for help with my mental illness. “A lot of my family turned to religion to cope and find comfort. Her religion, coupled with societal stigma towards counseling, contributed to her defiance. When it came to Amber’s own struggles with depression and anxiety, she resisted going to therapy because she saw that her mother was fine without it, and believed that she had to act similarly. Instead of dealing with her emotions, she buried them. Amber, a 20 year old Pakistani-American student, grew up with a mother who experienced widespread trauma while growing up in Pakistan.